Tales of the Inn

Author's Note: The following characters belong to Namco Bandai, not me, even though I wish Asch were real and mine. This piece also is just merely a figment of my overactive imagination that while humorous, is not real or any part of the plot of Tales of the Abyss. This was inspired by a topic on the Gamefaqs Tales of the Abyss message board with the title Tales of the Inn, thanks Smash Fanatic for posting the great topic and giving me inspiration!

Disclaimer: I highly advise against reading this if you are currently eating or drinking anything. I also hold no responsibility for any injuries that may be incurred if anyone happens to fall out of their chair laughing.

And italics indicate actions or other description of the scene.  () indicate thoughts
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The party arrives in Keterburg after a trip to Mt. Roneal, it's late and even colder than normal, thanks to a storm. They head for the hotel desk, Jade takes care of the arrangements.

Jade: Two rooms please.

Clerk: Colonel, I am so sorry, but we only have one room left

Anise: Boooo. Not again! Last time I couldn't sleep cause of Luke's snoring!

Jade: Anise, would you prefer to camp out in this weather? I am sure you will find the snow quite pleasant compared to Luke's snoring. I am sure we could find a tent for you.

Luke: I do not snore!

Tear, Guy, Anise: Yes you do.

Jade: We will take the room.

</i>Asch enters the hotel</i>

Natalia: Asch! It's so good to see you! Were you headed to Mt. Roneal?

Asch: No.

Jade: Asch, so good to see you again. Unfortunately the hotel is all booked up, we got the last room.

Natalia: Asch can stay with us, can't he?

Jade: I have no problems with it.

Anise: Noooo!!! He probably snores as badly as Luke does!

Asch: I do not snore.

Jade: Anise, remember, you can always camp outside...

Anise: Booo...

Natalia: Asch?

Asch: Fine. It's not like I can go anywhere else tonight.

Everyone goes up to the room, which of course has only one bed

Luke: One bed again?

Anise: I claim the bed for the girls! Anise jumps onto the bed Come on Tear! Natalia! Before the guys can take it from us!

Asch: I didn't want the bed anyhow. I'll take that corner he picks a corner as far away from where Luke is now as possible

Luke: Fine! I didn't want to be near you anyhow! he goes to the opposite corner and lies down

Anise: Did anyone else notice how cold it is?

Natalia: You are right, Anise, it is quite cold Natalia shivers a bit

Asch comes up behind Natalia and whispers something in her ear, she turns a bright shade of pink, he goes back to the corner away from Luke

Jade: My poor old bones...I wonder if they can take another night of the floor...

Tear: Colonel...You can have my place on the bed, I will take the floor. she lays down on the same side as Luke

Natalia: I agree, the floor is no place for one your age.

Anise: Look! Natalia and Asch are blushing! But do I have to sleep with the Colonel? And where's Guy to sleep since Natalia and Tear aren't going to be in the bed?

Guy: Umm..The closet looks like a good spot for me. Guy goes into the closet and shuts the door behind him

Anise looks over at Asch and Natalia

Asch: What are you looking at?

Anise: I was just wondering what you wear under all that armor…

Natalia: Anise!

Jade pulls a blanket over Anise

Jade: Don’t mind her. It’s time for children to go to bed, isn’t it, Anise?

Anise: while trying to squirm her way out from under the blanket Meanie!

Asch: I’m going for a walk

Natalia: Asch!

Asch walks out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Natalia runs after him. Once they both get outside, Asch stops

Asch: You didn’t have to follow me…

Natalia: No, I did not, but I wanted to.

Asch: Fine, walk with me then.

Back in the room

Tear: Colonel, have you seen Luke?

Jade: Not since Natalia and Asch took off in such a hurry.

Tear: I’ll go find him then.

Jade: That sounds like a good plan. I will stay here and make sure Anise and Guy don’t run off also.

Anise squirms out from under the blanket finally

Anise: I heard that!

Back outside, Asch and Natalia are now sitting in the west park area, unbeknownst to them, Luke is in the nearby tree with Mieu

Luke: Be quiet!

Mieu: Yes, Master. But didn’t Tear say that this was bad to do?

Luke: No, she said it was not admirable. There is a difference.

Mieu: Mieuuuuu…

Below, in the park area

Asch: Did you hear something?

Natalia: No, but it sure is windy… shivers a bit (…I hope Luke isn’t eavesdropping again…)

Asch: Come closer…

Natalia scoots closer to him and rests her head on his shoulder, he puts his arms around her and they sit like that for a time, not saying anything

Back up in the tree, Luke is perched in such a way, it's amazing he hasn’t fallen out yet, he sees Tear, who is climbing up the tree after him

Luke: What are you doing up here?

Tear: Looking for you. I told you eavesdropping is not an admirable habit, didn’t I? What if Anise or the Colonel had come looking for you?

Luke: I know. Asch would be pissed if he knew, I doubt Natalia would be pleased with me either if she knew….

Tear: Then let’s go back before they find out we were even here. Mieu, you go first.

Luke: Okay…

Down below in the park area, Asch and Natalia look about to kiss each other when a loud rustling is head from above. Mieu falls out of the tree and in the process of trying to catch him before he fell, Tear falls also. Natalia and Asch are startled by this and Natalia causes Asch to fall over backwards with Natalia on top of him

Mieu: Oww! That hurt! Tear! Are you okay?

Natalia: Asch! I am so sorry. Are you all right?

Asch: I am fine. I actually find this to be somewhat pleasant.

Tear gets up, she seems a bit shaky, but otherwise is fine

Tear: I-I’m sorry. I…um…I didn’t mean to interrupt anything. Mieu got caught in the tree and I fell getting him out.

Tear grabs Mieu and covers his mouth before he can say anything contrary to that

Tear: Mieu and I will go back inside…

Asch: Take the replica with you then.

Luke is so startled that Asch saw him that he falls out of the tree also

Asch: Serves you right, replica.

Tear grabs Luke’s arm and drags him inside, leaving Natalia and Asch to their own devices. Afraid that Asch might follow, Natalia kisses Asch full on the lips in hopes to stop him from doing something horrible to Luke

Back in the room, Anise, Jade and Guy are all asleep. Jade is taking up entirely too much space on the bed and Anise gets pushed off the bed. Anise then wakes up, rather disoriented and needing to use the bathroom

Anise runs towards the closet, mistaking it for the bathroom and trips over Guy, as she falls over, she hits her head and falls unconscious onto Guy, peeing on him

Guy wakes up, screams because Anise is unconscious on top of him, realizes he is covered in urine and runs out to the bathroom. As he is running, Tear comes back in, dragging Luke along, Guy runs right into Tear

Tear: What happened to you Guy? You’re all wet?

Guy runs to the bathroom

Luke: What happened to him?

Guy: from the bathroom Anise fell and peed all over me!

Luke and Tear burst out laughing, amazingly Jade still appears to be asleep

Tear: while laughing Is Anise okay?

Guy: from the bathroom I have no idea.

Tear opens the door and finds the rather wet Anise unconscious. She uses First Aid on her, and Anise wakes up and realizes she’s in the closet, not the bathroom and that she is soaked

Anise: Tear? runs towards the bathroom, her face bright red

Tear: Guy’s in there, you will have to wait for him to finish.

Luke is still laughing like crazy, and Jade still appears to be asleep

Some time passes, and Guy and Anise both get cleaned up and changed into spare clothes, eventually all of them go to sleep, Asch and Natalia still aren’t back

The next morning, Asch and Natalia are back in the room, Natalia is cuddled up against Asch, who has his arms around her, everyone but them wakes up

Jade: yawns Good morning. I slept well.

Anise: And you pushed me off the bed, meanie.

Jade: I wasn’t the one who mixed up the closet and the bathroom, Anise.

Anise and Guy turn bright red, Natalia and Asch wake up

Natalia: What’s this about closets and bathrooms and Anise?

Guy: Don’t ask, Natalia…

Jade: It seems Anise mixed up the closet for the bathroom last night. And Guy, do the women always pee on you?

Anise: I can’t believe he was actually awake during all that.

Luke: It was pretty funny, though

Tear, who is near Luke, elbows him in the stomach

Luke: Ow!

Jade: Well, shall we get going?